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INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Post Date: 2009-06-23

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DST4ME View Drop Down
DS ELITE
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  Quote DST4ME Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Topic: INSTALLING A HUSBAND
    Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 7:27pm
One of our good members on my forums posted this, I thought I share it, it was funny:

INSTALLING A HUSBAND

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1..0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as Baseball 5.0 and Golf Clubs 6.1.

Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and Housecleaning 3.6 simply crashes the system.

Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate.




DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme...html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.

If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1.

Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.

Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 ;program.These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 7.0 and Hot Lingerie 9.7.

Good Luck


Tech Support

Edited by DST4ME - 23 Jun 2009 at 7:27pm
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inferno23 View Drop Down
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  Quote inferno23 Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 7:32pm
OMg this is great stuff hats off to whoever invented it but u can get rich off stuff like this omg
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Alex View Drop Down
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  Quote Alex Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 10:05pm
lol
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pockyking535 View Drop Down
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  Quote pockyking535 Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 10:32pm
pure genius!  very funny Smile
"I can't believe I'm going to work on my b-day!"I can't believe I'm doing laundry on my b-day!
"I can't believe I'm paying for sex on my birthday! Rip off. There should be a discount -- Jim Gaffigan
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venom View Drop Down
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  Quote venom Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 10:41pm
lmfao
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Vipersneak View Drop Down
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  Quote Vipersneak Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 23 Jun 2009 at 11:30pm
That is funny stuff.
Intel i5 3570 @ 4.0 GHz
ASUS Sabertooth Z77 MB
8 Gb of Corsair Vengence 1600
nVidia 670 FTW
120 Gb Corsair GTX SSD
1 TB WD Caviar Black HDD (3gb/sec)
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army man View Drop Down
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  Quote army man Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 24 Jun 2009 at 5:18pm
who knew that we were just operating systems and not entertainment.
life's to short to worry bout the small stuff
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Mikey14 View Drop Down
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  Quote Mikey14 Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 24 Jun 2009 at 6:29pm
HAHA i love this stuff.  Is there any more?? Smile 
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DST4ME View Drop Down
DS ELITE
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  Quote DST4ME Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 24 Jun 2009 at 8:09pm
If I see more I will post
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AbsiNthe View Drop Down
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  Quote AbsiNthe Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 24 Jun 2009 at 10:40pm
I lol'd

quite Creative.

I suppose it's funny because it' s true Ouch
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DST4ME View Drop Down
DS ELITE
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  Quote DST4ME Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 24 Jun 2009 at 10:45pm
I love the upgrades:

Cooking 7.0 and Hot Lingerie 9.7.

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  Quote tman5890 Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 25 Jun 2009 at 12:17am
This must have taken a lot of thought. Gave me a few laughs
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Kaleliar View Drop Down
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  Quote Kaleliar Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 30 Jun 2009 at 2:02pm
Subject: Failed Upgrade
Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization, where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Smoking 10.3, Boozing 2.5 and Saturday Night Pubs 5.0 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run some of my other favorite applications like Night Club 4.3, Dance 'n' Drink 2.0 and Bachelor Party 7.77.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall does not work on this program. Once I tried to uninstall Wife 1.0 but got this error: "General Protection Fault in module House Security. The Uninstallation will abort." Can you help me, please?

Here was the reply from Tech Support:

Re: Failed Upgrade
This is a very common problem among men, but it is due mostly to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT program. Wife 1.0 is actually an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is unlikely you would be able to purge Wife 1.0 and still convert back to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge Wife 1.0 from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 8.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than the original system. Look in your manual under "Warnings-Alimony/Child Support;" this was given to you at time of registration with Wife 1.0. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation. Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Partnership Faults (GPFs).

The best course of action will be to enter the command C:APOLOGIZE. In fact I would suggest you use this command every time Wife 1.0 crashes on your system. Wife 1.0 is a great program, but very high maintenance.

Consider buying additional software to improve the performance of Wife 1.0. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Chocolates 5.0 or Movies 4.5.

Do not, under any circumstances, install Visual Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This is not a supported application for Wife 1.0 and is likely to cause irreversible damage to the operating system.

Recent surveys show add-ons like Visual Dress 2.0, Diamond Necklace 3.0, and A Quick Tour To Temple 1.0 are the best Third Party tools supported by Wife 1.0 to allow it to run smoothly and effectively.
Best of luck!
Rock: "We're sub-standard DPS. Nerf Paper, Scissors are fine."
Paper: "OMG, WTF, Scissors!"
Scissors: "Rock is OP and Paper are QQers. We need PvP buffs."
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DST4ME View Drop Down
DS ELITE
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  Quote DST4ME Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 30 Jun 2009 at 2:11pm


Maybe because I'm a guy but I thought the husband 1.0 was a more humorousbut this one was great too thanks
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Kaleliar View Drop Down
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  Quote Kaleliar Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 30 Jun 2009 at 2:20pm
There are different variations but all are about the same. I've got a pic ill post later that might make us guys laugh. ill see if i can find its opposite.
Rock: "We're sub-standard DPS. Nerf Paper, Scissors are fine."
Paper: "OMG, WTF, Scissors!"
Scissors: "Rock is OP and Paper are QQers. We need PvP buffs."
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DST4ME View Drop Down
DS ELITE
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  Quote DST4ME Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 30 Jun 2009 at 2:21pm
Cool thank you very much
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Kaleliar View Drop Down
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  Quote Kaleliar Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 30 Jun 2009 at 4:15pm
 I put it in a different topic.  

Edited by Kaleliar - 30 Jun 2009 at 4:17pm
Rock: "We're sub-standard DPS. Nerf Paper, Scissors are fine."
Paper: "OMG, WTF, Scissors!"
Scissors: "Rock is OP and Paper are QQers. We need PvP buffs."
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Sodius View Drop Down
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  Quote Sodius Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 02 Jul 2009 at 3:36am
Very funny stuff, thanks guys.
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goodwill221 View Drop Down
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  Quote goodwill221 Quote  Post ReplyReply bullet Posted: 05 Jul 2009 at 8:54am
Excellent.. It is really funny to read. Deep inside it has a story and I copied it to my system to share with my friends. SImply loved it
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